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A Cd^se of j^ j^ 
j^ M Suspension 

A COMEDIETTA IN ONE ACT 
By Louise Latham Wilson 

Author of* 'The Trouble a.i Sattertee's/' **The Wreck of Stebbins* 
Pride/' Etc. 




PHILADELPHIA 

VhE PENN publishing GOMPA.NY 

1911 



<> b^ 



f^ 






Copyright 1899 by The Penn Publishing Cc mpany 



TMP92-007481 



A Case of Suspension 

DRAMATIS PERSONS 

Dorothy j 

Alice v Young ladies of the Seminary 

Mildred j 

Harold \ 

Tom V . . . Undergraduates of a CoUeg^ near by 

Jack j 

MISS Ophelia Judkins . . \ _ ^ of the Faculty 

Professor Emilius Edgerton f 

Kathleen A Ceitic maiden 

Jonas The Seminary "man'* 



Costumes as Desired. 
Time of Playing — One Hour. 



A CASE OF SUSPENSION 



SCENE. — A young ladies' sitting-room, ejitrance R., win' 
daw L., sofa and piano at back of stage, chairs and 
other things as desired. 

{Enter Kathleen, duster hi hand.) 

Kathleen. Faith, an' did Oi iver see the loike av tho 
young leddies in this Siminary. Up to some thrick from the 
roise av mornin' to the settin* av avenm', they do be thfe 
loiveliest set. An' it's Kathleen this, an' Kathleen that, and 
won't ye jist run up the shtairs, Kathleen, an' come down agin, 
till me fate are ready to dhrop off avme entirely. An' all the 
toime they doin' nothing but wearin' foine clothes, and 
paradin' out around so's the young college fellers'U take 
notice. An' me driv to death waitm' on them to earn the 
little bit that Oi have to live on. Sure, Oi'll get aven wid 
'em some foine day for all the exthra trouble they're always 
makin' me. What's this ? Miss Dorothy's new bonnet, 01 
do belave, leftlayin' on the chair so careless loike. {Tries it 
on.) Faith, but I think that must look foine. An' here's 
one of them feather bo-eys, too. Ain't that ilegant, now ? 
{Footsteps heard outside.) Hist ! What's that ? An' me 
wid the bonnet on ! 

{Hastily hides behind sofa as DOROTHY enters ; DOROTHY 
carries two bottles of olives, and some fruit.) 

Dorothy {breathlessly). Dear me, but that was a nar- 
row escape ! Whew ! Just think of running into Judkins 
when I was flying from the kitchen with these things for our 
spread. She'd have asked some rather embarrassing ques- 
tions, I fear. Now I believe. I'll put my things on, and go 
down the street to meet Mildred, so she won't come in the 
front way. and get caught. Where's my hat ? — {Searches.) 



A CASE OF SUSPENSIOJT 

That's queer ! I left it right here when I went downstairs. 
Weil, probably one of the girls has it on. They don't seem 
to know how to discriminate between their clothes and mine, 
anyway. 

{Ejiter Alice.) 

Alice. Oh, Dorothy. You back so soon .'* Did you get 
the things ? 

Dorothy. Didn't I, though ! Just look on the table. 

Alice. Two lovely bottles ! And oranges ! You dear 
girl ! How did you ever manage it ? 

Dorothy. Well, I had a time. I went bravely down to 
the kitchen, and stole them, absolutely stole them, which was 
a perfect miracle, for the cook was right there. xA.nd when I 
was coining back with them, 1 met Judkins coming rigl^t 
down the hall. 

Alice. Oh, you didn't ! 

Dorothy. Yes, and she drew herself up and said in her 
most majestic tones (that always reminds me of the time she 
found us on the annex roof,) " My dear Miss Talcott I wish 
to speak to you a moment. " 

Alice. Oh, what did you do ? 

Dorothy. I pretended not to hear her, and I just gath- 
ered up my skirts and flew. And she knows 1 couldn't help 
but hear. So I expect her up here any minute. 

Alice. You brave girl ! — Well, I think vve'd better get 
our books out where we can grab them in case of an emer- 
gency. Better have her come now than later, when the boys 
are here. 

Dorothy. Oh, yes, much better. I do hope Mildred 
won't get caught. You know she went down town to invest 
in some things for our spread, and now that Judkins has 
one little suspicion, she will keep her eagle eye out for more 
evidence. You know, it absoluiely makes me shudder, that 
eye of Judkms's. By the way, Alice, have you seen my 
new hat anywhere 1 

Alice. Certainly, about an hour ago, on that chair„ 
You never do put your things up, you know, Dorothy. 

Dorothy. I knew I left it there. And I've hunted and 
hunted, and I can't tind it anywhere. I believe Mildred 
wore it down town. 

(Kathleen carelessly raises head, so that hat comes jusi 
above edi^e of sofa.) 

Alice \looking across). Well, I guess you didn't look 
"^ery hard when you hunted. I see it now. 



A CASE OF SUSPENSION J 

Dorothy. Where ? Well, I declare ! I know it wasn't 
there before. 

(S/i^ attempts to seize it — hat suddenly disappears^ 

Dorothy {screams). Oh, it moved ! 

Alice. Moved ? How could it 1 

Dorothy. But it did ! And I think it must be a man— 
a burg-lar, probably, and he's taken it for a disguise. 

Alice, Oh, don't breathe such a thing, for mercy's sake \ 
If he thinks we suspect him, he'll come out, and there's no 
telling what he will do ! We must be perlectly cool. 

( Wildly paces up and down the floor.) 

Dorothy. Oh, yes, we must be calm ! ( Wringing hands.") 
Oh, what shall we do ! 

{Steps heard; girls in fear and trembling fly to doorj 
open it a crack.) 

Alice. Who's that ? Oh ! It's you ! 

{Enter Mildred, carrying box of crackers, etc.) 

Mildred. Oh, girls ! I've just had a narrow escape — so 
exciting — 

Alice. Ss-h-h-h ! There's a burglar in the room ! 

Mildred ^screams). Oh ! Where t What for ? 

Dorothy. S-s-h-h-h ! He's behind that sofa, and he's 
disguised ! Mildred, he's got our clothes on ! 

Mildred. O-o-o-h-h-h ! 

Alice. Don't scream, Mildred, you must keep calm, as 
Dorothy and I are doing, or he'll come out, and there's no 
telling what he will do. 

Mildred. But what shall we do ? We can't stay in here 
with him. He might get tired, and come out anyway. 

Dorothy. S-s-h-h-h ! Come over here, where he can't 
hear what I say ! I'm going down for Jonas ! 

Alice. I'll go with you. 

Mildred. So will I. 

Dorothy. No, you can't. It isn't safe to leave him alone 
here ; he — he might eat up the spread. You just wait a 
minute. 

{Exit Dorothy.) 

[A move7nent from behind sofa ; girls scream ; presently 
Jonas e?tters, with a large pitchfork in otie hand, and a 
piece of rope in the other. Dorothy follows him.) 

Jonas. ?^aoNy, whar'd yeou say the fellah was ? 



8 A CASE OF SUSPENSION 

Dorothy. Right there, behind the sofa. 

Mildred. Oh, Jonas ! He may be armed ! Be careful ] 

(Jonas very cautiously moves sofa and discloses Kath- 
leen.) 

Jonas. Good land of liberty ! What be yeou a-doirt' 

here ? 

Dorothy. My new hat on you ! 

INIlLDRED. You wretch ! — to frighten us so ! 

Alice. Miss Judkins shall hear ot this, Kathleen. 

(Kathleen sobs.) 

Jonas. Naow, don't be too hard on the gal. What ever 
was you doin*, Katie, raisin' up sech a row ? Stop oiym* 'n' 
speak up, naow, there's a good gal. 

Kathleen {sobbing). Faith, thin, an' Oi was.n't doin'' noth- 
in* to hurt nobody. Oi jist came in a-dhusvin*, whin I set 
Miss Dorothy's bonnet, and Oi koind av tnried it on, loike. 
Thin whin Oi heard the young leddies come in, Oi jist moved 
the sofy a mite, and sot on the flure to dusi the base boards 
a bit, an' Oi've been here iver since. Aii' whin Oi heard 
thim talkin' so terrible about burglars, bure, Oi was tha< 
scared, Oi cudn't move hand ner fut av me ! 

Jonas. Naow, that's a purty tolerable yarn, ain't it ! 

Dorothy. Kathleen, do you expect us to believe tha.T 
rubbish ? I shall report you to Miss Judkins immediately 

Kathleen {drying tears). Faith, thin, an' if that's th;; 
way it is, there'll be two reports comin* in to Miss Judkins .♦ 
As sure as me name is Kathleen O'Brady, Oi'll inform aboui 
the gintlemen what's comin' in here to-night to your little. 
.shpread, an* the two little bottles what you shtole, yes, absho-- 
lutely shtole, from the kitchen, an' a lew other things it's me 
good luck to know ! 

Alice. Good heavens, girls ! 

{All look blank.) 

Jonas {chuckling). Wal, Katie, my gal, I bet yeou've 
outwitted 'em this time, sure enough. Naow, what (\o you 
calculate to do abaout it ? Fight it aout ? 

Dorothy. I don't see any way out of it. She has evi- 
dently overheard. Kathleen, can you keep a secret ? 

Kathleen. It depinds, ma'am. If it's to me advantage, 
Oi can guard a secret as I would me loife. 

Dorothy. Well, now, see here. Ot course your conduct 
has been scandalous, perfectly scandalous ! But we will 
overlook it this time on condition that you will keep still 



A CASE OF SUSPENSIOIf (^ 

about anything you may have overheard, and on conditioc 
that you will lend us your clothes basket. 

Kathleen. Bless your koind heart, Oi'll promise ye any- 
thing-. An' Oi'd loike proper well to help ye this avenin' ; 
put what would ye be wantin' a clothes basket for ? 

Dorothy. Never mind; you just bring it up, and re- 
member ! — if you ever breathe about this, it will cost you 
your situation. 

Kathleen. Yis, mum. 

Kathleen exits.) 

Mildred {calling). Oh, Kathleen ! 
Kathleen {frojn outside). Yis, mum.? 
Mildred. Steer clear of Miss Judkins ! 
Kathleen. Yis, mum ! 

(Jonas picks up pitchforJz a?id rope ; mo7Jes toward door.) 

Alice. No, don't go, Jonas, we want you. See, sit down 
here. (She seats Jonas on sofa, DOROTVLY puts pillow at 
his back, Alice sits on right side of him, DOROTHY sits on 
left, Mildred on stool at feet.) 

Alice. Now you know we think everything of you, don't 
you, Jonas ? 

Jonas [grinning). What be you young ones up to naow ? 

Mildred. But we do, Jonas ! You've always been sa 
good to us. I shall never forget the time you let me in the 
library window. 

Dorothy. And I shall always swell with gratitude when 
I thmk of the time you waited for me till two o'clock witii 
that ladder. 

Alice. We can never, never repay you, Jonas, for all 
your goodness. 

Jonas. Wal, as near as 1 can figger, thet means thftt 
there's some new scrape a-hangin' in the air, 'n* yeou want 
to git me into it. I'm gitting pretty old fer sech tricks. 

Dorothy. Oh, no, you aren't ! You're just too young 
and lovely for anything ! 

Jonas. Wal, naow, thet does saound pretty tolerable, 
don't it? No man can't refuse nothing after thet ! Aout 
with yer scheme. 

Dorothy. Oh, it's no scheme, Jonas ! We just want 
you to tell us how much a — well, an object, a heavy ob;ecl 
weighs. 

Jonas. Wal, naow, thet's speakin' pretty gener?»lly, 
"They varies, accordin* to their size an' weight. 



10 A CASE OF SUSPENSION 

MiLDRED. Well, Jonas, just suppose an object that was 
about — several feet long, and — well, two feet broad. 

Jonas. Haow thick through ? 

Mildred. Oh ! I'm not sure — about a foot, I guess. 

Jonas. Animal, vegeterble, 'r mineral ? 

All. Oh ! — animal. 

Jonas. Wal, supposin' 'twas a hawg, it'd weigh — 

Alice. Jonas, you're just horrid. Now be good, and tell 
us how much an average-sized — well, man — would weigh. 
You know that's what we meant, all the time. 

Jonas. Land, haow was I to know 1 Wal, if it's a man, 
I've seen 'em that'd weigh upwards of three hundred 
paoiinds. There's Professor Hendly, naow — 

Mildred. Oh ! Jonas, we don't care about him. We 
want an average weight like — well, anybody. 

Jonas. Oh ! Wal, I sh'd figger it at about a hundred 'n' 
fifty paounds, more 'r less. 

Dorothy. Well, Jonas, have you got a rope that would 
hold a very heavy weight — say about one hundred and fifty 
pounds ? 

Jonas. Happy days ! Yeou ain't goin' to hang nobody, 
be ye ? 

Alice. Of course not, Jonas. 

Jonas. Wal, they ain't no tellin' what yeou will do next, 
n' 1 felt kind o' oneasy fer a minute. Naow, I sh'd jedge 
that this here rope 'd be abaout what yeou'd want. It's good 
and strong, 'n' yeou didn't need it fer no burglar. 

Dorothy. Do you suppose that's long enough to reach 
from — from a window to the ground, for instance 1 

Jonas. Land, yes, 'n' plenty left over. 

Mildred. Then, Jonas, if you'll just let us keep that 
rope, we'll be awfully obliged to you. 

Jonas. Sartinly, yeou can hev the rope, 'n' welcome. I 
knew there was something up the minute I see all them 
vittles settin' around. But I'm dreadful afraid yeou young 
folks is gettin' in a deeper scrape 'n' yeou've calculated on 
this trip. 

Mildred. Oh ! don't you worry, Jonas, 

Jonas. Wal, if anybody happens to ask yeou, yeou can 
tell 'em that old Jonas don't know nothin' about yer 
jamboree. 

{Exit Jonas.) 

Dorothy {examiniiig rope). I do hope it's strong 
enough. It would be awful if it should break and let them 
down. 



A CASE OF SUSPENSION IX 

{Enter Kathleen, with basket) 

Kathleen. Faith, 'n' such a toime as Oi've had. Oi 
was list comin' down the dinin' hall wid me basket, whin 
who should come in but Miss Judkins, and wid her Pro- 
fessor Edgerton. An' so Oi had to hoide in the chiny closet, 
as the quickest place to be got at. An' they was a-talkin' 
away about how discipline must be maintained in this 
school, and the Professor he says as how Miss Judkins 
didn't kape a strict enough eye on her young leddies. 

Alice. Oh, glory ! 

Kathleen, That's jist what Oi think mesilf, mum ; an' 
then Miss Judkins says, says she, what's the matter wid 'em 
now, or words av loike manin'. An' thin, says Professor 
Edgerton, they's somethin' in the air to-day, sure, says he. 
An' he told as how he see Miss Mildred down to the bakery 
in study hours, an' as how the hull lot of ye seemed so kind 
of restless an' onasey loike, that Oi trimbled in me shoes fer 
ye. An' thin they wint, an' Oi came quick to warn ye. 

Mildred. Thank you. Kathleen. Now you can go. 
And if you see Miss Judkins coming for our door, just 
cough good and loud. 

Kathleen. Oi will, mum. 

{Exit Kathleen.) 

Dorothy. Now the only safe thing to do is to put all 
these articles out of sight as quickly as we can. You bring 
the basket here, Alice, and we'll put the rope and provisions 
inside, and then shove the whole thing under the sofa here. 

(Kathleen coughs, outside.) 

Mildred. Do you hear that cough ? Hurry, hurry ! 

Alice. Now all the evidences are cleared away, and it 
must be tea time. {Bell rings offl..) There's the bell now. 
Come on ; we'll have to go for appearance's sake. There's 
another cough. Come, girls ! 

{All exit.) 

{Enter Professor Edgerton.) 

Professor. Ah I observe that the room is empty, quite 
empty, and I regard it as a duty — yes, quite a duty — to make 
a tew — ah ! — investigations. I have every reason to think 
that something very unusual is brewing for tonight, and 
these things should be thoroughly, quite thoroughly, investi- 
gated, and managed with a firm hand. Miss Ophelia Judkins 



12 A CASE OF SUSPENSION 

^s a very estimable lady, but I fear — I very much fear- 
that she does not thoroughly investigate things. {Looking 
beneath sofa.) Aha ! what is this ? A large basket, and in 
an extremely peculiar place ! It is really my duty to examine 
the contents. How very odd ! Candy — oranges — olives — 
cakes — ah ! a long, stout rope. Now I will replace these 
things quite as I lound them, and wait for developments by 
the young ladies. I now know quite whom to watch. In- 
deed, my dear young ladies, two can play at this little — 
ahem — game, as it were. {Low whistle is heard outside of 
window ; PROFESSOR listens. Another is heard.) Can it 
be that that whistle and this basket bear any intimate rela- 
tionship with each other ! I regard it as a duty, yes, as a 
duty, to investigate. 

(Steps to one side of windotv, careful not to be seen from 
outside. Low w?iistle heard again.) 

Professor. {Whistles same way.) 

Man Outside. {Tiuo short whistles.) 

Professor. {Two short whistles.) 

Man Outside. {One long, two short.) 

Professor. {One long, two short.) 

Man Outside. {Three prolonged.) 

Professor. {Three prolonged.) 

Man {in low voice). It's all ' right, then, isn't it ? We'll 
be around after supper ? Whistle once for yes. 

Professor. ( Whistles.) 

Man. Say, do you suppose old Edgerton is on to us ? He's 
the worst man in the whole Faculty to shadow a fellow. 

Professor {silently shakes fists, ujiobserved. Then 
leans toward window). S-s-h-h-h ! 

Man. All right. It know it isn't safe to stand here. 
But whistle just once if you're entirely alone. 

Professor. ( Whistles.) 

Man {voice still lower). Say, dear, I want to tell you 
something before the crowd comes up from supper. You 
looked awfully sweet last night. Can you meet me in the 
same place to-morrow t 

Professor. ( Whistles.) 

Man. All right, dear. I wish it wasn't so dark, so I 
could see you. Good-bye. I'll be around soon. 

Professor {turning froin window). I see that it was 
my duty, yes, quite my duty, to make these little investiga- 
tions. Yes, good-bye, I will be around soon, also, as it 
were; 

{^Cautiously exits.) 



A CASE OF SUSPENSION I3 

{Enter Alice, Dorothy, Mildred.) 

Alice. At last we're safely here again. And I declare— 
{looks at watch) it's time the boys were here. Close the 
door, Mildred. Dorothy, you help Mildred fix the spread, 
and I'll tie the rope on the basket. 

( While they are busy at preparations, low whistle is heard.) 

Dorothy {Jumping up). That's Tom, I know ! 
Mildred. No, Dorothy, I'm positive it's Harold ! 
Alice. And I'm sure it's Jack, so now 1 

{Basket is softly let down through window — then girls pull 
very hard, and tiAROLD climbs in over sill.) 

Harold. Whew ! But it's a shaky sensation to dangle 
between earth and sky and wonder how long you girls can 
hang on to the rope ! I thought once you'd drop me ! I'm 
glad I'm in. Hello, Mildred ! 

Mildred. S-s-h-h-h ! Harold, don't breathe ! We've 
been suspected and watched all day, and we must be so 
careful 1 

{Low z^ his tie heard outside.) 

Dorothy. I know that's Tom. 

Harold. I guess you're right. {Leans over window ^ calls 
softly >j Hello, Tom ! 

Tom. Don't talk — just get me up as soon as you can. 
jl'm being shadowed. 

{Basket is hastily let down — they pull him in.) 

Alice. You're a great help, Harold. 

(Tom climbs in over sill.) 

' Tom. Holy smoke ! But I've had a time ! Met Profes- 
sor Edgerton down town, and he stuck to me like a brother. 
Asked me where I was going, and when I said I was just 
strolling around, the old fellow said 'twas such a fine evening 
he believed he'd go alorig. 

Dorothy. How did you ever get rid of him ? 

Tom. Well, we walked along for a while like a couple 
of long parted chums, and I tried to shake him all kinds of 
ways, but it was no good — 

Mildred. Hush ! You mustn't talk so loud ? 

Tom. And we'd be walking yet if it hadn't been for Jack. 
We met him on Elm Street, and he saw through the little 



14 A CASE OF SUSPENSIOX 

game at once. And he said, serious as a deacon, — " Tom, 
have you forgotten that you were going to coach poor Brown 
to-night? He's waiting for you now!" Of course the 
Professor couldn't keep me from such a righteous act of 
mercy, so 1 broke away. But I'm dead sure that he's 
shadowed me up here. 

Alice. Oh, poor Jack ! He'll be caught ! Where did 
he go ? 

Harold. Don't you worry — Jack's capable of taking care 
of himself. Just tell me if those things are to eat? I'm 
awfully hungry. 

Dorothy. Well, you can't have a mouthful till we say 
you may. We're going to wait for Jack. 

{Another low whistle outside.) 
Alice. Here he is now ! Let dowm the basket, quick. 
{Basket let down, rope drawn half way tip.) 

Mildred {leani7tg ovtr sill). How old the moonlight 
makes him look ! O-o-o-h-h ! don't pull him in ! 

Others [amazed). Why ? Why ? What's the matter ? 

Mildred {catching rope). Don't pull one inch ! It isn't 
Jack ! 

Othe-rs. Not Jack? Who? Who? 

Mildred. I'm positive it's— it's — Professor Edgerton. 

Others. It can't be ! {They lea?t over sill.) It is ! It 
is! 

Harold. By Jove I ^ 
*• Tom. Well, we're done for now. 

Dorothy. Done for 1 Indeed we're not ! If that's 
Professor Edgerton, he's where he has no business to be, so 
we'll just let him hang where he is for a while. 

Others. Good ! Capital ! Oh, what a joke on the Pro- 
fessor ! 

Dorothy. Now, keep still, everybody, and we'll have 
some fun. {Leaning out — politely). Good-evening, Pro- 
fessor ! 

Professor. Young ladies, I have long suspected your 
conduct, and have endeavored, by means of this scheme^ 
which I think is remarkably clever, to obtain proof of it. I 
have now obtained all that I judge necessary, and I feel com- 
pelled to take severe measures with you all. I will imme- 
diately turn the whole matter over to the Faculty. 

Dorothy {sweetly). You can't till you get down, Pro- 
fessor. 



A CASE OF SUSPENSION 1 5 

Professor. I was about to request you, young woman, 
to lower this basket at once. 

Dorothy. Oh, Professor ! Pray don't go yet ! You 
have onlyjust come ! 

Professor. Indeed, young woman, this lightness is un- 
seemly. I command you to obey at once ! 

Mildred {mockingly). But we teel it a duty, yes, quite a 
duty, to keep you — ah — where you are ! 

Professor. I never heard of such unadulterated impu- 
dence in my life ! I'll have you all suspended ! 
.•'^-TOM. Meanwhile, Professor, we take great pleasure in 
suspending you ! 

Professor. You young upstart ! Am I to be dangled 
here between heaven and earth at the mercy of a pack of 
undergraduates ? 

Dorothy. We're awfully sorry for you, Professor ! And 
it must be dreadfully cold out there — but you know you got 



yourself into this scrap 

Alice. Just think, Professor, what fun it would be if any 
one should pass by underneath I 

Professor {groajis). 

Harold. Suffering Moses ! but isn't this a lark ! 

Professor {with the energy of despair). Young people, 
I command that you lower this apparatus immediately ! 

Dorothy. We're in command now, Professor. But since 
our time is flying, and you're slowly congealing out there, 
we'll let you down on one condition. 

Professor. Ami, a member of the Faculty, to submit 
to your conditions t 

Dorothy. Why, no, not necessarily. Perhaps you would 
rather hang there. We can tie down the ropes and close the 
window. 

Professor. What are your conditions ? 

Dorothy. That you never, never breathe a word about 
our spread, or anything else you may have seen, to any liv- 
ing soul ! 

Professor. I can't promise that. 

Dorothy. All right. Professor. We'll leave you out 
there to wrestle with your conscience awhile ! Tie him up, 
Harold. 

Harold. Don't wriggle any more than you can help, 
Professor, because I'm afraid these ropes aren't very strong ! 

Professor. Here — hold on — wait a minute ! If there is 
no way out, I will — ah — surrender. I will promise as you 
suggested. 

Dorothy. Solemnly, on your honor ? 



^^ 



l6 A CASE OF SUSPENSION 

Professor, Solemnly, upon my honor. 

Dorothy. Then come, boys, let him down. — Or no? 
Let's pull him in I He shall come to our spread, and he 
can't tell 1 

[Basket is pulled in.) 

Professor (climbing oifer sill). Young people, do you 
consider this fair treatment ? I understood that I was to be 
lowered — as it were — to the ground. 

' Tom. Well, you will be, all in good time, never fear. 
You see this is an honor too great to be passed by. 

Harold. We've always felt delicate about inviting the 
Professors to little concerns of this kind, but since you were 
%Q anxious to come, we feel highly complimented. It's really 
a chance of a life-time I Do have a chair, Professor. You 
look so tired ! 

(Seats Professor in chair. Low whistle heard outside.) 

Alice. That must be Jack ! Lower the basket, boys. 
Professor. Young people, I protest ! 
Dorothy. We're sorry to wound your feelings. Professor, 
but it must be done ! 

(Jack tumbles in.) 

Jack. I did think I never would get here to-night, because 

the Faculty is on to us Je-rusalem ! {Stares blankly at 

Professor.) 

Alice. Oh, yes, Jack, Professor Edgerton is joining in 
our little spread to-night. 

Tack. Well— how — what — 

Professor. Are you taking part in this disgrace'iul 
affair, young man t 

Jack (blankly). Are — are you, Professor ? — I must say 
it's unusual to invite the Faculty to these little — gatherings 
—I'll be hanged if I see — 

Harold. Come here, old man I 

(They whisper in corner ; Jack seems greatly amused.) 

Mildred. Well, now, we're all here, and we might just 
as well begin to eat. I'm hungry. Sit down, everybody on 
the floor ! 

'-■ Tom. I tell you, you girls know how to fix up a spread ! 
(They all eat hungrily. Professor sits gloomily in the 
^hair.) You don't seem to have any appetite, Professor. 

Dorothy. Poor Professor ! Let's fix him up a nice little 
plate all for himself. Pass over those chocolates, Alice, 



A CASE OF SUSPENSION" 1 7 

Professor. Young people, my feelingrs are greatly 
wounded by your conduct this evening. Think how em- 
barrassing, how quite embarrassing, it would be for me if 
we were to be — ah — discovered. 

Jack. Come, now, Professor, we're all in the same boat. 
Cheer up and be lively. We're going to have no end of fun. 

Dorothy. Come, jump up, everybody, and see if we can't 
enliven the poor man a little. I've seen the time when I 
felt just so, Professor, and nothing would drive it away but a 
good dance, 

(Seats herself at piano and plays lively jig^ 

Alice. All join hands and circle round. 

{They force Professor to circle awkwardly with them.) 

Professor {circling). Young people, I command — I pro- 
test — is not this a singularly — yes, quite a singularly — un- 
usual thing for a member of the Faculty ? 
--^ Tom. Unusual ! Ye gods ! I should think it was. 

Mildred. Faster, faster, Dorothy ; don't stop ! 

Alice. Faster ! I'm just spinning now ! 

JIJOROTHY plays " We won't go home till morning.^ Alt 
Join in the song. Door opens and MiSS JUDKINS standi 
in view. Stidden stoppage.) 

Dorothy (Jrojn piano). What's the matter? Keep it 
up ! Keep it up I Judkins is three stories below, and deal 
at that. 

{Wheels arotmd, sees Miss Judkins, hides head and 
screams.) 

Miss Judkins. Professor Edgerton ! Do you call this 
discipline .>* Explain yourself. 

Professor. Indeed — ah ! — indeed I fear you will not 
quite understand — but I was making merely a few investi- 
gations, and — ah ! — 

Harold.' And he got investigated himself. 

Dorothy {seriously). You see, Miss Judkins, we're 
leaching the Faculty to dance. 

Alice. Yes. We started with the Professor, and we can 
take you next, Miss Judkins. 

Miss Judkins. Such unparalleled impudence. I certainly 
fail to understand, Professor, why you are in your present 
position. I can only command that you and these — gentle- 
men — betake yourselves elsewhere at once. \ will attend to 
you, young ladiieS. 
% 



r8 A CASE OF SUSPENSION 

(Whistle heard outside. Dorothy answers with similar 
whistle.") 

Voice. Say, yeou young 'uns want to look aout sharp, 
naow. Thet there foxy Judkins, she's onto ye. 

Dorothy {smothering a laugh). All right, Jonas ! 
Thank you. 

Miss Judkins. Jonas, too, in league. 

Voice {from doorway). Faith, Miss Dorothy, you an' 
the voung gintlemen had better go soft loike, for 6i mistrust 
that Miss Judkins she's a-\vatchin' for something. 

Dorothy. Thank you, Kathleen, we'll watch her. 

Miss Judkins. Young ladies, if the Faculty, and the hired 
men. and all the maids of this establishment are in league 
with you against me, it is useless to interfere. I shall send 
in my resignation at once. 

Professor. Indeed, my dear Miss Judkins, if only you 
could understand how — ah ! — how very false my position is — 

Miss Judkins. False ! I should tliink it was. You, sir, 
were telling me but an hour ago that discipline must be main* 
tained at any cost. There is nothing, sir, for you to say. 
You can only leave the room, even as you came into it. 

{Shrieks of laughter.) 

Alice. Come, now, Miss Judkins, don't be hard on the 
Protessor. He came in here to-night with the best of inten- 
tions, I assure you. 

Mildred. Yes, Miss Judkins, and as long as we are all 
here, and discovered, and you see you really can't do any- 
thing, you'll just have to make the best of it. Sit down, now, 
and let me help yoii to something. 

Miss Judkins. Miss Bartlett ! I — 

Professor. Ah !— but do, Miss Judkins. I'm sure it 
would be very kind of you, and I — you — that is, we — need 
never mention this — er — little occurrence to the — er — 
Faculty. In fact, my dear Miss Judkins, I — that is, false 
as my position is, and much as I — er — regret It, I feel as 
though I had gone back twenty years, my dear Miss Jud- 
lee. 

Miss Judkins. I'm amazed at you, Professor Edgerton. 
Yet, since you speak of it, this — this much to be regretted 
affair wakens memories within me that I thought had gone to 
sleep forever. 

Professor. Miss Judkins ! My dear lady! Ophelia! 
Er — I was just going to mention — that since the circum- 
stances have been forced upon us, as it were, can v^e not 



A CASE OF SUSPENSION I^ 

roll back the years for one short hour, and — er— participate, 
as it were, in these — festivities ? 

Harold. Professor, you're a brick. 

Alice. Oh! do, Miss Judkins; we'll never tell. 

Miss JUDKINS. Professor Edgerton,sinceyou,as a member 
of the Faculty, have requested it, I will consent to stay a short 
time and act as — as chaperon for these young people. 
- Tom. Hurrah! Sit down, everybody, and eat your £11. 

i^They seat themselves. E7iter Kathleen, breathless) 

Kathleen. Faith, thin, an' it's prowlin' around she is, 
an' if you young gintlemen — howly Saint Pater ! An' the 
Perfisser, too ! 

{Stares in open-mouthed astonishment) 

Jonas {entering). Naow yeou young 'uns better quit *n' 
light aout ef ye want to git off with hull skins. It strikes me 
she's — gee whiz ! 

Alice. Come on, Kathleen. This is a time of joy for all, 
from the Faculty down. Join the circle ; here's a place for 
you. 

Tom. And you can sit right here, Jonas. Don t be 

bashful. 

Mildred {sings). " And we'll all have tea. 

Jonas. Wal, all I can say is— I swan! Haow'd it all 
happen? 1 never see the Hke of this, an' Pve seen some 
mighty peculiar things sence I've worked to this seminary. 

Miss Judkins {dryly). I don't doubt it, Jonas. 

Jonas. Wal, Miss Judkins, you 'n' the Professor mustn't 
be too hard on old Jonas fer a-helpin' of the young folks a 
little. You see, I liad a boy once myself,jest about the age 
of these young fellers; an' one time I was pretty hard on 
him on account of a jamboree that was considerable like 
this ;— an' he went away, an' — wal, we ain't heard from hnn 
sence. 

Jack. There, old fellow, cheer up. He'll come back 
before long, a sadder and a wiser man, see if he doesn't.^ 

Professor. And Miss Judkins and myself are quite 
willing to overlook this~ah— laxity of demeanor, Jonas 

Dorothy. There \ Everything is all right now. And 
we can — oh ! listen. 

{Tuning of gidtars is heard; then a college song is sung 
by a male quartet) 

Dorothy. What a lovely serenade ! It was just the 



20 A CASE OF SUSPENSION 

finishing touch for our spread. But it is getting late. Jum^ 
up ! jump up 1 One parting whirl, for soon we must sever. 

(Dorothy plays.) 

Alice. Join hands, everybody, Miss Judkins and the 
Professor, Kathleen and Jonas, and all the rest. One — two 
— three — four, and away we go. 

Professor {breathlessly). This is — ah — er — very violent 
exercise — cannot we desist, my young friends, with a parting 
bow, as it were ? 

Mildred. So we will. Come here, Dorothy — we'll all 
join hands, and now to the greatness of the occasion ! 

Tom. And to its unusual circumstances ! 

Alice. And to the health of Miss Judkins ! 

Harold. And to the happiness of the Professor ! 

Jack. And to our loyal friiends, Kathleen and Jonas, whc 
rushed into the very teeth of danger to warn us of approach- 
ing peril ! 

Dorothy. And to the honor of the Faculty ! 

All. One grand sweeping bow. 

CURTAIN 




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